Job interview questions
As a rule, a prospect employer asks future employees a lot of questions to answer. But at the end of the interview they get a chance to see the real face of the candidate when the latter is allowed to ask his own queries. One should get into the employer’s shoes to really enjoy (or get shocked by?) a selection of the candidate remarks and questions:
- “What is it that you people do at this company?”
- “What is the company motto?”
- “Why aren’t you in a more interesting business?”
- “What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?”
- “Why do you want references?”
- “Do I have to dress for the next interview?”
- “I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?”
- “Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?”
- “Will the company pay to relocate my horse?”
- “Does your health insurance cover pets?”
- “Would it be a problem if I’m angry most of the time?”
- “Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?”
- “Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?”
- “Why am I here?”
To impress an employer, the candidates often make some unexpected statements during the interview:
- “I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.”
- “At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.”
- “I feel uneasy indoors.”
- “Sometimes I feel like smashing things.”
- “Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.”
- “I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.”
- “I get excited very easily.”
- “Once a week, I usually feel hot all over.”
- “I am fascinated by fire.”
- “I like tall women.”
- “Whenever a man is with a woman, he is usually thinking about sex.”
- “People are always watching me.”
- “If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.”
- “Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct.”
- “I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.”
- “I never get hungry.”
- “I know who is responsible for most of my troubles.”
- “If the pay was right, I’d travel with the carnival.”
- “I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.”
- “My legs are really hairy.”
- “I think I’m going to throw up.”
I do not think that any author of the above statements was lucky on that day to get a job. But they certainly impressed the interviewers.
[tag]job, job interview, employment, career, humor[/tag]
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