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    Joke of the day: freelance efficiency
       June 7th, 2006

    I like to look through joke listings, but sometimes it takes much more time than I plan initially. I like this one on freelance efficiency:

    Lightbulb joke

    Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: If you know how many, you can’t know if they’ve done it yet.

    Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: If you want to know how many, you can observe them as they come in the door. But if not observed, they come in waves.

    Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: The probability that the light bulb will actually be changed in any time interval is independent of how long you’ve been waiting.

    Q: How many scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. They use them as controls in double blind trials.

    Q: How many company biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Four; one to write the proposal, one to design the bulb-changer, one to design the bulb-fetcher, and one to design the bulb.

    Q: How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One; he designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one and screw itself in.

    Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

    Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but it sure takes a lot of light bulbs!
    [tags]freelance, work from home, joke of the day, home job[/tags]

    Smuggler needs a job
       June 6th, 2006

    Smuggler needs a jobI really enjoyed this adv. Import of 75 tons of marijuana – the guy ran a big scale business. I do not think he will find a suitable job at our website though we focus on legitimate jobs.

    Small business startup guide
       June 2nd, 2006

    One day your home business might need to expand and you will think about hiring employees and getting venture capital funding. Most small business owners (including home workers) secretly dream that their business project will succeed and they will switch to the new level.

    To succeed at our time, you need a great idea that will lead to the product or service in demand (you will have a market for your product/ service) and there will be no cut throat competition in the industry. Business 2.0 magazine has published a guide to your small business success. You can read more detailed instructions for each step at their website:

    For entrepreneurs, now is the time

    New technologies are creating new business opportunities, and radically reducing costs for startups. Still, success is as difficult as ever.

    Phase one: Establish a company

    In order to get started you’ve got to test your idea, build a founding team, get a business plan together and pick a company name that will take you to the top. Here’s what to keep in mind.

    Phase two: Prototype the product

    Finally the rubber meets the road, as you stake out your intellectual property and assemble the demo that will help you sell your idea.

    Phase three: Develop the beta product

    Now is the time to start installing your staff — hire the best you can afford. They’ll help you perfect your company’s product and begin the beta testing process.

    Phase four: Launch the product

    Now that the testing is done and the product has been refined, you need to find paying customers. So stop fiddling and start selling!

    Searching for angel investors

    Here is what every aspiring business-owner should look for in early-stage backers. Remember, it’s not just money you want; you also want brainpower, connections, and experience.

    What a VC wants to see in you

    You too can woo even the fussiest venture capitalists. Be sure you’re pitching to the right partner — and expect them to present you with a deal sheet that has some tough terms.

    That’s it. It sounds easily achievable, but the truth is that millions of people know what steps they have to take to succeed in business, but just a few really do it. I guess it is not enough to know (or even learn by heart) the above guide. Unfortunately, I am unaware of the success recipe as well as the rest of the world.

    [tag]small business startup, guide, venture capital[/tag]

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