Cover letters
Sometimes people are so excited about job opportunities that in a hurry (not to miss their chance) dispatch resumes and cover letters with statements similar to (linguistic errors, etc., are not corrected on purpose):
• ”I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.”
• ”I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.”
• ”Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
• ”Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
• ”Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial instutions.”
• ”Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
• ”It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
• ”Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
• ”You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
• ”Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
• ”I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”
• ”Marital Status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
• ”I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
• ”I am loyal to my employer at all costs….Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
• ”I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
• ”My goal is be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokeridge.”
• ”I procrastinate, especally when the task is unpleasant.”
• ”Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
• ”As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”
• ”Instrumental is ruining entire organization for a Midwest Chain store.”
• ”Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
• ”Marital Status: often. Children: various.”
• ”Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employess get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn’t work under those conditions.”
• ”The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”
• ”Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
• ”References: none. I’ve left a path of descruction behind me.”
resume, cover letter, job site, job opportunities, employment, self-employed, home business, business opportunity, employment
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